The Fanatical Diaries of an OverObsessed Teenager
by Apocalypse Kitten
Summary: I've always been weird.Now you can know how weird. I talk to, see, interact with, etc. the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh, and have been for the last year. This is my ever-so-strange diary. Now you get to read it. True story! Just give it a try, okay? It's pretty funy.
1. Chapter 1

Wow. People are actually reading this.

See, I have a thoroughly strange and overactive imagination. Having mastered the personalities, voices, appearences, etc. of the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh, I have begun to see them. Well, I started a year ago. Then I started hearing them. The we started talking. Then friendships, romances (some secret, some not so secret), other stuff developed. Now, we hang out, like 24/7. it's pretty cool, actually. So maybe I'm a little over-addicted. Call me crazy, but have you ever gotten to throw a torturing, embarassing, and awkward surprise part for Seto Kaiba and gotten to stick an obnoxious party hat on him and laugh? Didn't think so. I have. My parents, friends, and neighbors don't get it, but I have.

I quite literally interact with the cast. My mind is that messed up (in a cool way!) So, I figured, I really should write all this chaos down. So I started lon Friday. Then, today, I thought, heck, I might as well POST IT! So here it is.

So this is a journal...sort of.

* * *

THE FANATICAL DIARIES OF AN OVER-OBSESSED TEENAGER:

Chapter One: Swearing on Black Titan Dragon

_-Open Entry, Friday, February 27, 2009-_

School is many things. School is dull. School is a waste of time. School is agonizing. School is irksome. School is where demented old people who talk too much try to cram as much useless information into your skull before the seven hours you have to spend there are over.

I hate school.

As I arrived home, I dropped my book bag on the floor of the kitchen, making a mental note that would soon be long forgotten to retrieve it later. Massaging my forehead gently, I wordlessly thanked God it was finally Friday.

I walked to my room, opened the door, and walked inside. Picking my laptop up from the bed where I'd left it to charge, I seated myself on the mattress and turned it on.

Joey and Kaiba glanced at each other, no doubt surprised by my cataphysical scowl and the silent entrance. Normally, I'd come in, bounce down on my bed, and start telling them what had happened or what was on my mind in the bubbly, happy voice they'd grown used to hearing daily.

"Ocie?" Joey asked." You okay?"

"Shut up, Wheeler."

Joey looked startled. I never called him by his last name. Well, almost never. I did when I was mad at him, but that was about it.

"What'd I do?"

I looked up at him, an unfriendly tone in my voice and an icy glare on my face. "Excuse me, are you talking? Because I seem to recall telling you to **shut up**!"

"Sorry."

"YOU'RE STILL TALKING!" I yelled angrily.

"You got detention for talking about the show too much again, didn't you?" Kaiba asked. I looked up to see that he was trying to hold back a smile. It had happened before. Well, it wasn't that I talked about it too much...more like at the wrong times. Such as during class.

Irritated, I grabbed him by the collar and got in his face, "Seto Kaiba, if you laugh, so help me, you will be in more pain than you were at the end of my last birthday party. Got it?" He nodded.

"Good."

Just for the record, I'd smashed a guitar over his head at my last birthday party. He'd made a **really** unnecessary (and just plain WRONG) comment about me and Yami Bakura. Ew. The memory made me wrinkle my nose in disgust and shudder.

So I sat on my bad and listened to my favorite songs on YouTube with my headphones on because my iPod was…well, MIA at the moment.

Since I was facing the wall opposite the door, I could only tell the door had opened by the changing shadow on the wall, but I didn't know who it was. All I know is, the moment the door opened, Kaiba and Joey, who were sitting at the end of my bed facing me and the door, immediately started signaling violently for whoever it was to leave. I took off the headphones and turned around. It was Yami Bakura.

"Got something for you."

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. "No way! You got it?" He held out a Duel Monsters card. I dove off the bed and tackled him in a massive hug. He squirmed and tried to escape, but as I'd told the entire cast of Yu-Gi-Oh before, when I really wanted to do something to them, resistance was futile.

I let him go and he sighed in relief. "How did you get her to give it to you?" I asked.

"I have my ways." He said simply, avoiding my eyes.

I narrowed my eyes and frowned. "You didn't."

He knew what I meant. "No, not that, I just…"

You didn't!" I gasped, meaning it in a totally different way. "You **didn't**!" I covered my mouth and started laughing.

He blushed and I laughed harder. "Well what else was I supposed to do!?"

"Well, I don't know, but you actually did it?"

"YES, OKAY! WE GET IT!"

I took it down a notch, but couldn't stop laughing. "So, was it more of you kissing Clover or her kissing you?" He didn't answer. That was probably because it was the first one.

He held it out. I reached for it, but he moved it away and said, "You'll delete that picture, right?" I nodded solemnly. "And you won't tell anybody? Ever?" I nodded again. "Swear." He commanded, not taking any chances.

I held up my right hand. "I totally swear!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Ocie, since when have we sworn to anything like that?"

"Oh. Right." I pulled my Black Titan Dragon card from my pocket with the rest of my deck and held it up, holding on with my right hand, making sure only to take up half of the card, excepting my thumb, which I stuck out straight across out over the middle. Yami Bakura did the same, only on the other side of the card, crossing his thumb over mine. "I swear on the Black Titan Dragon to delete that picture and never to tell anyone what it was, and let the Egyptian Gods bear witness to this eternally binding promise." I re-pocketed the card, and held out my hand.

"Good." He gave me the card left. The moment he did, I burst out laughing again. Clover was the name of a friend of mine. She was also related to Pegasus, which always helped. She had a massive crush on Yami Bakura. WEIRDO!

I grinned and studied the card, all thoughts of detentions and retrieving book bags forgotten. "I don't believe it. He actually got it."

Eyes unnaturally huge, Joey and Kaiba scrambled over the bed to look over my shoulder. "So it really exists?" Kaiba asked.

"Nope!" I rolled my eyes. "This is just a hologram!"

"I can't believe Clover actually gave it to him."

"I can't believe he actually **kissed** Clover!" I smiled at the mental image. "This is so cool! I can't wait to rub this in Yugi's…what, Joey?" He was looking at me expectantly. "What? WHAT? FOR THE LOVE OF SLIFER THE SKY DRAGON, WOULD YOU JUST T-oh. Yea, you can talk now."

He breathed a sigh of relief, than gasped, "She just gave him a one-of-a-kind card! And he just gave it to you!"

"Well, she didn't give him much of a choice." Kaiba pointed out. "I just wish we could see that picture."

"He **kissed** her!" I didn't plan on letting him forget it either. It was pretty dang hilarious, especially if you know Clover. She was the most energetic, weird, crazy, peppy girl I'd ever met.

I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and deleted the picture with no regrets. As hilarious as it was, it was **so** worth losing it for my new card.

"I wish you would've shown us first." Joey pouted.

I shrugged. "Hello, I just swore on Black Titan Dragon, and I ain't losin that card." He shrugged. I had a point. I wished I had an embarrassing photo of Kaiba or Marik. If Yami Bakura had actually **kissed** someone to get me to get rid of it, imagine what they'd do! I grinned evilly at the thought…

_-Close Entry-_

_

* * *

_

Well, that was interesting. No, you can't actually get a Black Titan Dragon or my soon-to-be-reveiled one-of-a-kind card. They're all figments of my imagination. BUT THEY'RE REAL TO ME!

Oh, and "Ocie" is my nickname, short for Ocelot. It's pronounced "Awe-see".

And, yes, I do actually swear like that with my Yu-Gi-Oh watching friends. As in the ones who you can see too. And the cast, but you could see that. The thing is: you swear like that on your favorite card, using that format and all that stuff. If you break the promise, whoever you swore to gets to keep the card. Yea, not fun, huh? That's why we only do it when we **really** mean it.

And, no, I can't tell you about that picture. I swore on Black Titan Dragon, remember? And, like I said, I ain't losin that card. Because, remember, this is actually happening to me. Sort of...God, I'm weird.


	2. The Force Be With You

THE FANATICAL DIARIES OF AN OVER-OBSESSED TEENAGER:

Chapter Two: The Force Be With Me

_-Open Entry, Friday, February 28, 2009-_

"Ocie! Ocie! Wake up, it's an emergency! OCIE!"

"Go away, you brainless, senseless mutt." I mumbled, ignoring Joey and pulling the blankets up over my head.

"Ocie, get up!"

"What time is it?" I mumbled, stalling for time. Ah well. When I got sick of this, I'd just knock him unconscious and go back to sl-

"It's six in the morning!"

"Excuse me? Wheeler, you woke me up at six in the-OHMIEGYPTIANGODS!" I gasped, sitting bolt upright. "Yugi and the Pharaoh are gonna be here any minute!"

"The plane was early!" Joey told me desperately, dragging me out of bed by my arm.

"How…early?"

"Uh…he's already here."

"WHAT! NO! WHEELER, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?" I dove out of bed and tackled my closet doors, wrenching them open and hunting trying to find an outfit that matched.

"Because you told me that if I ever woke you up before six, you'd get Bakura to trap me in the Shadow Realm."

"And you believed me?!?!" I flung a really stupid looking jacket (why do I still have that thing?) over my shoulder. It hit him in the face.

"Wait, you weren't serious?"

"Well, of course not, you idiot! Then I'd have no one to have fun with!"

"Fun for who?"

"Me!" Okay, so my version of "having fun with Joey" is never very fun for him. It often involves glitter, sports equipment, Shakespeare, cotton balls, glue, microwave popcorn, or some other impossibly weird thing you don't even want to **speculate** about. Oh, and laughing from everyone but Joey. Lots of it. "Now out! OUT!" I pushed him out of the room, slammed the door, and got dressed, glad my parents were out of town for the weekend.

I got ready as fast as I could, skipping breakfast. I skidded to a stop at the top of the stairs. "Where are they?" I asked Joey, looking around wildly.

"In the backyard!"

"C'mon!" I yelled urgently, grabbing his arm and jumping off the top of the stairs. I landed on my feet, thanks to years of practice. Joey? Not so much.

"Come on, Wheeler, get up **now**!" I jumped back and forth from foot to foot while I impatiently waited for him to stand up. The moment he did, I grabbed his arm again and dragged him out the back door. "NOOOO!" I wailed. We were too late.

The Pharaoh and Seto Kaiba were in the middle of a duel. Not **that** kind of a duel! A duel as in with swords. Actually, they weren't swords, they were light sabers, but you get the point. Actually, everyone was dueling, Star Wars style.

Kaiba's was blue, and the Pharaoh's was green. "Ready to lose?" Kaiba sneered. The two of them were pressed close together, light sabers pushing powerfully against each other.

"You wish!" In a flurry of quick movements, the Pharaoh spun around and managed to hit Kaiba in the side with his plastic weapon.

"No!" Kaiba gasped. He growled, "You'll pay for that, Yugi!"He charged at his opponent.

Uh-oh. Apparently, bitter feelings from Yugi's last visit were still lingering. I hissed, "Joey, get my light saber."

"Well, I'm kinda-,"

"Wheeler, get the dang light saber!" I commanded loudly. He ran off, knowing full well how stupid it was to mess with Ocelot Nox when she was making **the face**. I was, for the record, making it.

Kaiba and the Pharaoh's epic battle continued while I waited impatiently for Joey to return. What was taking him so long? Didn't he remember what happened last time Kaiba and the Pharaoh got into a light saber fight?

Well, what happened was as follows:

Originally, it was Seto and Yugi. Then the Pharaoh got mad and took over. Naturally, that got Marik and Yami Bakura involved. Then Kaiba made a comment that got Tristan, Tea, and Joey involved. Then Mokuba showed up and stepped in, which resulted in everyone but him and Kaiba getting their butts kicked until I helped out. Kaiba was easy to get rid of. But Mokuba? The two of us had an epic Battle of the Millennium. Speaking of Mokuba, where was he…oh, boy.

Mokuba was holding his light saber (just like his brother's), still closed, waiting, and grinning at me. He only ever showed up when Yugi did, really. Joey got back, handed me my light saber, and charged into battle against Kaiba.

Mokuba and I walked towards each other slowly, equally determined. In one moment, both of us swished out our light sabers in a flash of blue and red. I held mine up in front of me and he did the same.

"Hello, Ocie." He smirked.

"Mokuba." I didn't smirk. I scowled. "Ready for a rematch?"

'Ready to lose again?" he answered my question with one of his own.

"Oh, we'll just see who loses." I growled, and, suddenly, his light saber was pressed against mine without ever seeming to have moved. But I was ready. I pressed back. "Game on."

_-End Entry-_


	3. The Fight To End All Fights

THE FANATICAL DIARIES OF AN OVER-OBSESSED TEENAGER:

Chapter Three: Three Years In The Making

_-Open Entry, Friday, February 28, 2009 Cont.-_

You know, I've never really understood what it was with us and light sabers. We never really used them unless Yugi and the Pharaoh were around. And as so as they were around, things tended to get…in a word, dangerous. For example:

I gasped, barely managing to move in time to avoid a deadly fast swipe. Never, **ever**underestimate Mokuba with a light saber. Saying Kaiba's brother's not a threat when he has one of them is like saying Bakura wouldn't be dangerous with all of the Millennium Items. I mean, I could beat the you-know-what out of anyone else with a light saber, but Mokuba was, well, different. I swear, the guy would make an unbeatable Jedi.

I scowled noticeably, and swung the plastic sword so fast it would have taken anyone by surprise. However, Mokuba **wasn't **taken by surprise. In fact, not only did he block it, he managed to push my own back towards me, almost into my stomach. Just in time, I spun, freeing my light saber and aiming for him. Of, course he blocked it. He always blocks it. This was followed by multiple basic blows and blocks. He swung low and I barely avoided it by jumping up, legs spread into a split. Then I dropped to the ground, landing naturally (and in a very clichéd way) with one hand on the ground, the other holding my light saber. I stood up and took a deep breath, then closed my eyes. I knew Mokuba was doing the same thing. It was just how things worked. Sometimes, you see better with your eyes shut.

Simultaneously, our plastic weapons swung, slamming into each other above our heads. After pushing for a moment, I spun, aiming my light saber low. Hearing a rustle of grass but feeling no breeze, I assumed he's moved in time. Drat. He always moved in time.

I would **not** lose to him again! I charged, swinging my plastic blade. Each time I did, I felt it blocked. Swearing involuntarily, I swung wildly, refusing to go down without a fight, not that I planned to "go down" at all.

Abandoning the more belief-related tactics, I opened my eyes and gave a scream of pure frustration. I would do whatever it took to win. I would not be beaten. Not again. Not this year.

Throwing my light saber to the ground, I resorted to more primal methods and punched him in the stomach. Not expecting my more questionable style of attack, he dropped his light saber, dropping to one knee.

I made a fist and smirked. "Hmm. Check." Excuse me for making a clichéd chess reference.

Looking up, Mokuba grinned. Not a good sign. "Actually, that's my line." He said, and pointed behind me.

The moment I turned around, Seto Kaiba punched me in the face.

"OW! HOLY-!" I fell on my butt, sighing. Fighting dirty never seemed to work for me.

Standing up, Mokuba retrieved his plastic light saber and pressed the tip to my throat. "Checkmate." It was only plastic, but, still, I got his point.

I glared at the Kaiba brothers. I don't like losing, and you can probably tell. I bounced to my feet, curling my fingers into fists, ready to fight, and most certainly **not** ready to give up.

"Give it a rest, Ocie." I glared at Joey, who was sitting on the ground, light saber closed and on the ground in front of him. That's how we show that we've lost. Yea, this fighting-with- light-sabers thing happens pretty often.

"I will not give it a rest!" I insisted. Mokuba was still holding his light saber out, ready to fight. I glanced over at mine; still laying where I'd recklessly tossed it earlier. I exhaled slowly, and let instincts take over. Apparently, my instincts don't like losing either.

My leg flew out, slamming into Kaiba, knocking his light saber from his grasp. I ducked Mokuba's swinging blade, grabbed his brother's weapon, and faced the one person I could never beat, ready for the fight to end all fights.

The two of us charged in one moment, light sabers slamming simultaneously into each other, our eyes locking for a moment before we both spun away, then dove back in to attack again, only to have our blows blocked again. I swung high, he blocked. He swung low, I blocked, both of us fully aware that that whoever won this would have proven themselves completely unbeatable. Screw the Jedi, the two of us were the best. Now it was time to find out who was better.

Now that I had protection, I could retrieve my own light saber. Doing so, I dropped Kaiba's, as usual, finding it hard to fight with someone else's weapon. I gripped my light saber firmly, trusting it, knowing it had helped me win so many times before. It was like believing in the Heart of the Cards, only it was the Heart of the…um…Light Saber.

Both of us blocked and struck with incomprehensible speed and dexterity, equally relentless. I barley dodged one of his trademarked low swings, and then managed to almost hit him with a blow to the side. Almost.

Swinging my plastic blade determinedly, I struggled for breath. Our eyes met again, and we knew that this was it.

We swung our light sabers against each other with such ferocity that my whole body shook the moment they connected. Pushing against him determinedly, I bit my lip nervously, feeling a bead of sweat on my forehead. Looking at him, I realized that he was anxious, too. And, just for once, in that moment, the two of us were equally matched. But the feeling was over as soon as it had begun. Once again, he was better. He was **always** better.

A series of seemingly impossibly fast movements later, the tip of his light saber was once again at my throat. I froze, and then felt a slight smile playing about my lips. Slowly, strangely, as if my body was moving of its own accord, I felt myself close the light saber. There was a deadly silence in my backyard as I reached out and dropped the weapon at his feet. Then I turned, and walked back inside.

Finally, after three years, it was over.

_-End Entry-_


End file.
